Happy Holidays!

Warmest wishes of joy and love of the holiday season -- long into the upcoming New Year.

Narragansett, RI
Christmas, December 2011

Shanti.

Practice.

Practice sometimes takes a different form.

But sweetness always follows.

Hiatus

12-15 hours days in trial prep were the norm for February and the start of March. Long hours and lots and lots of meals out. Release achieved by snowboarding on the weekends - dodging yahoos on the local hills, nursing bruised knees, and puzzling out how to elegantly carve rather than zip.

Oddly enough my flexibility generally still seems to be here.
It's overall strength that feels to be greatly lacking.

It would be good to get back. Re-start.

 
One practice at a time.

Happy Holidays!

Many wishes to all for an upcoming year full of love, light and wonderful exciting adventures.

Narragansett, RI
Sunrise, Christmas 2010

Shanti.

Like Spinning Plates

Only 1 plate missing.
Asana.

Part.

A week or so ago Bindifry had this great post.

I've kept on rereading it, especially given it's relevancy over my current bit of on-again-off-again Ashtanga practice AYC. I’ve been trying my darndest to draw boundaries, allocate time and find balance between work and life and yoga, this I know I need to work on but at the same time, some things are out of my control.

I have only made it to AYC for practice 4 mornings since my last post.
No apologies.

Moves happen.
Document reviews happen.
Allergy season happens.
Dreams happen.
General life happens.

Somewhere in the mix, practice has continued on my own, snippets here and there on a new hardwood floor in the only spot devoid of cardboard boxes. An Ashtanga practice slowly evolving into something more of Ashtanga-Iyengar cross breed.

There's something about the discipline of working though something with body practices that start to make sense in terms of "real" world applications. Look at any artist or performer or scholar or high power attorney or captain of industry, they devote the bulk of their life to their Art, more often than not eschewing convention for what they feel inherently is right for them. Body/movement arts seem to tap into this at a base level, cultivating a desire and a system of application.

Over time.
Equilibrium is reached. Granted, more often than not it's a dynamic equilibrium, but equilibrium nevertheless.

Passions develop over time and deepening occurs.
Cultivated by those who we choose to surround ourselves with, by getting us to look at what we're doing and our true motivations.

Also, give a healthy dose of reality, or at least turn it on it's head.

Snowpocalypse DC 2010

Epitome

2009 has been an interesting year to say the least.
There's a part of me that wants to describe it as zero-sum.

Then, I think:
What could cosmically happen if I did that on a Moon Day, which is also a Harvest/Blue Moon, on New Years on the eve 2010, with a lunar eclipse? Possibly none, but one never knows...there are some Fates I don't like to tempt.

Funny how things happen as they do.
Although, really, I'm not surprised at this point.

Through the better part of the year I've felt as though I've been turning in revolution with ever increasing velocity. Rediscovering forgotten fragments, to making peace with the past, to new experiences, to simply living for the moment with surrender. Then, blending them together in various combination, filling the year with a new sense of purpose, discovery, and energy.

Should I question what this stems from?

It would be easy to point to the asana practice; however, I think it comes more from the discipline with which I approached it and the judicious choices made ostensibly "for the practice." (Obtainable in some form for anyone who studies/pursues anything with honest inquisitiveness and fidelity.) This was mentioned in very brief passing during the workshop and I spent some time probing this further with Fluellen and Aikidoka while up in RI.

As Kino was assisting me into tiriang mukhottanasana, there was this moment where I think I got a fleeting glimpse of the gravity of all of "this." What "this" is, I can't and don't want to define. It could be as simple as being another moment standing at the edge of opportunity and time. Just continuing to move forward, without fear, judgment or expectation.


Here's to the year MMIX and to MMX.
Wishing everyone, the best of health, peace and joy for the entire year to come!

Happy Holidays!

Narragansett, RI
Sunrise, Christmas 2009



Wishing everyone a joyous holiday season - filled with light and love.
Shanti.





...and of course, champagne, bismark donuts, and laughter.

Where'd October (!?) go?

I could have sworn that it was just September.
So much to do and in what seems to be so little time.

I this past weekend I had a moment to pause. In that moment I realized that this is the first time in a few years that I really don't have more than a nebulous idea of the 5/10/15 year plans. It's a little unnerving - choice does not necessarily create freedom, nor does freedom create choice. Maybe it boils down to the simple idea that we do what we have to do to get where we're ultimately going.

I look at the Mathematician and the Artist both who work really hard - independently and together - leading what T.R. would call a strenuous life, others would call it dharma and sometimes I wonder if they are happy or if they are content. I decide that it's contentment with highlights of happiness.

Is it contentment that is the ultimate "goal?"

One thing that I'm certain of, I'm not content to ever settle. Settling seems almost like a concession. Not saying going off the deep end always striving to the point of obsession for something more or better, but to steadily keep moving forward, deeper into knowledge and life and all that going along with it - feeding off the world at large, both the pains and joys.


Sure it's work, but it's work that is all worthwhile.

* * *

My practice has been changing a lot recently, to fit the recent rigors of the work that pays my bills. I've spent multiple evenings in Iyengar classes, mornings or evenings practicing on my own and slowly getting back on the Ashtanga wagon at AYC. It comes and goes in fits and spurts. My writing, photography, sketching, baking and everything else has been back burnered and days have pretty much been simplified to work, sleep, yoga, and food. Not necessarily in that order, but close.

But isn't life always in dynamic equilibrium?
The pendulum will soon swing back to Ashtanga.

The Results Are In...

Possibly not so surprisingly, I had more of a reaction to the tape that I used to apply the mat pieces to my skin than either my Manduka eKo, Manduka PurpleLite, or Jade Harmony mat.

Excellent news on the practice front. Not so excellent on the figuring out the cause of the eczema/hives. However, at this moment, things are the clearest they've been in a while.





So steady as she goes for a while as I try to hop back onto the Ashtanga wagon, not that I haven't enjoyed my three week foray into Iyengar and attempting to practice on my own. Which I did learn a whole lot - but it was so nice to be back to AYC this morning. Got a halfway decent primary in (skipping garba pindasana and kukkutasana) but really don't feel as though I'm starting back at square one - maybe more like a few steps back.

Like everything it seems, it is just going to take some patience.

Wild and Crazy Thought.

Recently haven't quite been making it to morning practice, let alone my mat with as much frequency as I would like. I stubbornly made my way to practice this past Sunday morning to be beaten into submission yet again - stopping myself at Mari-A.

Obviously - an Ashtanga practice is aggravating the hives/eczema that have covered my arms, legs and face. Too much heat generated. I was more than a little pissed off at my body, at all of what's going on. Between D and Spirited C I have a bunch of recommendations of cooling and restorative postures that I can do - which is good.

So no Ashtanga for me until this all clears up.
grumble. grumble.


After yet another visit to the allergist, my back was taped up with a 48 hour patch test - showed nothing. Both very positive, and negative - such is the dualist nature of some things.

Then yesterday morning, sitting in mediation (b/c I'm still waking at 4:45 am), I had this wild and crazy thought.
Could it be my mat?


I use it on a fairly regular almost daily basis. And I just got a new eKo to replace my original one that blistered! So at my allergist's recommendation (and after getting a good shower in, learned over these past couple days that I am not a bath person) I'll be taping a discreet corner of my mat to my body to do a homemade patch test.

If it is the mat...
Short of covering it with a yogitoes or Mysore blanket - does anyone have any recommendations?

Drip, Drip, Drench.

Attorney: Wow. (sitting at big oak desk, looks up at me just in from the current DC monsoon from the papers he is working on) Did you get caught in the rain too?

Me: (in all earnestness) No. I just decided to hop in the showers down in the locker room with my work clothes on to freshen up a bit.

Attorney: Oh. (pause) Really?


Sometimes I wonder...

Everything in 3s

1. 5:25 am. Leave apartment for practice, get to car, notice back passenger side window smashed in. File police report.
   No practice.
   
   
2. 6:47 am. Go to file claim on-line. IBM Thinkpad suffers "fatal error." Go to restart computer. Computer will not start after "restarting."
   
   
3. 8:03 am. Begin walk down Connecticut Ave to metro. At the corner of Albermarle and Connecticut, metro pass slips from iPod case and a gust of wind blows it and it's $97 down the storm drain. Literally and figuratively a sunk cost.

Yes, it's Tuesday.

Question 4.

If I'm going to be stuck on hold with D.C. Superior Court for over 25 minutes now, why can't they play at least a palatable or vaguely tolerable version of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik - II Romance (Andante)?

Day 17 & 9 To Go.

For the half-life of that med.
Then in another 26 days, half of that amount will be gone from my system and so on and so forth. By April it should be completely out of my system. Nothing I can do to speed it up.

Things at my doctor's went well - again the best pulmonary function test I've ever had! Of course, he was disappointed that I've been pulled from the treatment because, save for breaking out in hives, I was responding well to it until recently. Details. So I'm just on my standard maintenance medications. There's really not much that can be done save for waiting and watching to see how things progress.

As the Artist and the Mathematician pointed out to me, I'm taking the best care I have of myself, from diet to regular asana practice and to sleep - maybe any "problems" will ultimately be negligible.

So, I'll be logging pretty much my entire life, from practice to what/when I eat/drink, when take my meds and my peakflow and when I sleep. Somehow, I'm sure there's an art project lurking in this self study...


Still every thing remains to be about patience and persistence - funny how all this seem to work.


(Of course that does nothing to mitigate general aggravation and frustration, but at least it makes it a little more palatable.)

We don't realize, do we?

I had lunch today with a friend and former co-worker of mine, whose teenage son played paintball with Parson. She said that last night they were hanging out, watching TV, and he looked up at her from the floor of the den and asked how to spell Parson's last name.

She responded and asked why he wanted to know.
His response?

You'll see when I'm 18.



* * *

I'm not just referencing Parson here.
It's each and every one of us. Every person we've met, interacted with, in any capacity.

I would venture none of us can truly fathom the importance of our distinct roles.

Tending to the New Year

I had this idea that once the holidays were over things would not be quite so frenetic.

Heh.

What may you ask am I doing / will be doing with my time?

• This coming weekend a visit with Fluellen in FL.
• The next to RI & MA to escape the hoards of reveling masses who will ascend/descend on DC (not much of a fan of crowds) - and get in a visit with Lady Apollo, a member of Bauhaus, hopefully Sweet Bro as well as Mr/s A, and of course the Mathematician and Artist.
  
• The following weekend to Charlottesville to visit a couple more members of Bauhaus and attend a workshop at Ashtanga Charlottesville.
• The final weekend of January, the Mathematician and the Artist will be in town for a show and will be working with them.

In an ideal universe, it would be nice I could do all of those things I've wanted to start doing - sketching/writing during my lunch break, simplifying and eliminating clutter in my apartment (in turn creating a space conducive to artwork, writing, mediation, sleeping, you know the basics), and maybe get myself a haircut.

Optimistically looking at things, I've certainly been taking small steps to achieve them. You know, utilizing those odd minutes here and there to clean, organize, etc. Like this morning's post practice/getting ready for work bathroom cleaning.

Totally stoked about that.

Maybe what I'm hoping to achieve is, to take some of the discipline that my ashtanga practice has cultivated and apply it to the other 22 odd hours of my day. No small task when you take into account everything from daily work to tending to friends and the self. Besides, what's the purpose of a day, or an hour, or a minute or a second (for that matter) but to mark the passage of time?

In toto,

2009 is going to be a great year - it will involve a lot of work and patience - but it will be a great year.

There's a lot of exciting stuff on the horizon.



...and a bathroom that's clean.

Happy Holidays!

Wishing friends, old and new, joy and warmth this season - continuing into the new year.

Shanti.

Narragansett, RI
Sunrise, Christmas 2008

So I Went a Bit Internal Again.

It happens.

I experienced a bit of, what could best be described as, an existential crisis of sorts. Incurred by the theme for a joint 30th birthday party that I'll be attending in NYC this weekend - come as yourself in 10 years. That coupled with the meme, my 29th birthday* and a airline credit that needed to be booked by today, really got me thinking; from my writing for this blog, to my practice, to my pursuits, to what is really important in my life, who I am and who I'd like to be.

I feel a bit like I'm standing on the edge of opportunity and time.
I quite like it.

Talking with the SecondBeatle about my costume, he asked me what I didn't want to be and then think of what the antithesis of that would be. What I don't want to be is sitting in front of a computer mucking through receipts and expense reports, well heeled and dressed in a tailored suit and silk blouse. The antithesis I immediately envisioned involved bare feet, t-shirt and jeans, a drafting dot stuck here and there, IndiaInk stained and sobo glued hands and a yurt.

I'm quite alright with my antithesis, save for the yurt.
I like indoor plumbing and my 600 thread count sheets too much.

To get anywhere, takes a lot of practice alongside patience, discipline and crazily enough, having some fun along the way. A bit like an asana practice really. That all being said, today and this coming weekend, most certainly are not the time for "sensible" shoes...

...and maybe indulgence in a maple spice cupcake from B&W.




* Today. 2:09 pm - although the "official" paperwork says 2:11. I consider 29 still to be young - looming on old - but in my mind old is a looooooong way away. Maybe in another 90 years? Then I'll certainly be closer to old.