Thursday, October 22, 2009

Where'd October (!?) go?

I could have sworn that it was just September.
So much to do and in what seems to be so little time.

I this past weekend I had a moment to pause. In that moment I realized that this is the first time in a few years that I really don't have more than a nebulous idea of the 5/10/15 year plans. It's a little unnerving - choice does not necessarily create freedom, nor does freedom create choice. Maybe it boils down to the simple idea that we do what we have to do to get where we're ultimately going.

I look at the Mathematician and the Artist both who work really hard - independently and together - leading what T.R. would call a strenuous life, others would call it dharma and sometimes I wonder if they are happy or if they are content. I decide that it's contentment with highlights of happiness.

Is it contentment that is the ultimate "goal?"

One thing that I'm certain of, I'm not content to ever settle. Settling seems almost like a concession. Not saying going off the deep end always striving to the point of obsession for something more or better, but to steadily keep moving forward, deeper into knowledge and life and all that going along with it - feeding off the world at large, both the pains and joys.

Sure it's work, but it's work that is all worthwhile.

* * *

My practice has been changing a lot recently, to fit the recent rigors of the work that pays my bills. I've spent multiple evenings in Iyengar classes, mornings or evenings practicing on my own and slowly getting back on the Ashtanga wagon at AYC. It comes and goes in fits and spurts. My writing, photography, sketching, baking and everything else has been back burnered and days have pretty much been simplified to work, sleep, yoga, and food. Not necessarily in that order, but close.

But isn't life always in dynamic equilibrium?

The pendulum will soon swing back to Ashtanga.