576/307 Consistency.

I have this sneaky suspicion that there is something to this regular consistent practice.

Wednesday last week D re-added supta vajrasana.
Yesterday bakasana was added <-- not that I can figure out how to "Sprung nach vorne, Balance auf den geraden Armen, die gebeugten Beine in der Luft*" nor do I have the correct / adequate strength yet. But progress is being / will be made.

And oddly enough, I'm finding supta vajrasana quite enjoyable.



Dare I say it?
I'm starting to enjoy 2nd series.


*jump forward balancing on straight arms, bend legs in the air, http://www.ashtangayoga.info/praxis/uebungsserien/intermediate-series-nadi-shodhana/item/bakasana-b/

* * *

I realize that I haven't spoken much about the workshop out in Charlottesville with John Campbell. I probably burnt out a bit on talking about it. Suffice it to say, it was an amazing experience - he truly is a fantastic teacher. Not one of those "big names," but certified and more importantly simply and honestly a solid teacher.

There was a lot of depth to what he had to say and his adjustments. And when I did pause my practice it was interesting watching him work with those there who were unfamiliar with Mysore style and the students who were more advanced. But of the two, it was really good watching/hearing him work with the beginning students. In lecture it was really good to hear him talk about the practice and the philosophy surrounding it - giving a depth to the practice which the academic in me believes is really important.

He talked a bit about how he goes about teaching Mysore style - really taking the time, spending the time to lay the foundation for the rest of the system. First week is sun-salutations A/B and the basic finishing postures. Period. Then going in to how this is a very conservative system, rooted in how things were traditionally/culturally taught - by pure memorization, something that is not valued in contemporary society. A lost art if you will. He gave the example of young children in India begin taught the Vedas, before they could even begin to fathom their meanings they learn the exact words and the exact pronunciations and intonations (like learning the vinyasas). Which of course also lends itself to learning Sanskrit and going back to the original texts to be able to understand the nuance of word and phrase choice.

In terms of asana there were nuance differences, but such is the nature of this practice or any other practice. A student picks up the habits and nuance of their teacher whether they like it or not, ultimate fidelity will always be lost unless going to "original" source material.

His work with me on tiriang mukhottanasana (a/k/a chakra bhandasana) on the Saturday was amazing and still dumbfounds me that my body/back could get that depth. He had me ultimately at my upper calves, straight legs standing by lightly holding me up by his fore and middle fingers pressed lightly on each ASIS. He really exploited my back flexibility by use of breath. I wasn't cranked and yanked into the pose. Of course, I freaked out and my breath got choked when I realized where I was and sprung up slightly bewildered.

Ultimately, the weekend showed just how important the correct vinyasas with solid breath are as the mechanisms for delivering a solid asana within the sequence.

Back & Hit the Ground Running.

What a solid weekend!

Somewhere along the line I think I had forgotten why I fell for this practice. This past weekend reminded me - the grace and strength, the intelligence of the sequence and system, and the philosophical undertones.

But first and foremost, it still comes down to the grace and strength.
Note that I don't say bendiness.
Bendiness does not strength and grace make.

While giving the whirlwind 55-min recap to Aikidōka Sunday night, I realized just how much I learned in such a short time. Come to think of it, I hardly paused for a breath. Ultimately, I came out of the 250+ miles traveled refreshed ready to settle into and working with Ashtanga. None of this mucking about and flitting around, save for some sporadic play here and there to keep things fresh, fun, and the asana tight.

Further to the philosophical bent which is obvious given his pedigree, John Campbell was really into vinyasa. So that's what I've currently tasked myself with - I figure if I can really get things synched-up, maybe I'll begin figure out that whole moola bandha issue. Obviously, I have been flitting around because of continual frustration at my lack of both strength and general anatomical integration for jump back/throughs and inversions and hoping beyond all hope that someone somewhere would provide some immediate magic answer.

Abracadabra-presto-chango-*poof* Jumpback!
Nope.

I know I'm not moving efficiently through the vinyasas and this just bugs me.

I'm coming to terms with the reality that I have a long way to go on the bandha issue. It would be nice if I could muscle my way through this. That doesn't seem to be an option. Besides, I've always had a penchant for doing things technically proper - which usually takes a bit longer at the onset.

Perpetual Motion Machine

I begin to wonder if that's the fate of modern life.

From one thing to another. Every cyclical, upward spiraling - connected. Circles intersecting for a fleeting moment on a regular basis or just sporadically. Speeding up and slowing down like the well heeled soles of a tanguera on the floor of a milonga, moving with her partner, synched with the staccato notes of the accordion.

But also like an accordion, cramming and stuffing life into a small space and time.

* * *

This weekend I'm going to try not to even think about what class I'm registering for next session at UnityWoods or how balancing Ashtanga and Iyengar works. I've loved every moment of just practicing Ashtanga this week in preparation for the weekend.

Of course I have been running around all week - cramming 5 work days into a normal 4. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, and laundry when back at my apartment, collapsing into bed after short but sweet and warming evening conversations.

Tomorrow will start some pause - forget about everything.

Just the forecasted rain, my iPod and a 3 hour drive.
A weekend with no internet and spotty mobile service -
A weekend of Ashtanga and philosophy.

Epitome

2009 has been an interesting year to say the least.
There's a part of me that wants to describe it as zero-sum.

Then, I think:
What could cosmically happen if I did that on a Moon Day, which is also a Harvest/Blue Moon, on New Years on the eve 2010, with a lunar eclipse? Possibly none, but one never knows...there are some Fates I don't like to tempt.

Funny how things happen as they do.
Although, really, I'm not surprised at this point.

Through the better part of the year I've felt as though I've been turning in revolution with ever increasing velocity. Rediscovering forgotten fragments, to making peace with the past, to new experiences, to simply living for the moment with surrender. Then, blending them together in various combination, filling the year with a new sense of purpose, discovery, and energy.

Should I question what this stems from?

It would be easy to point to the asana practice; however, I think it comes more from the discipline with which I approached it and the judicious choices made ostensibly "for the practice." (Obtainable in some form for anyone who studies/pursues anything with honest inquisitiveness and fidelity.) This was mentioned in very brief passing during the workshop and I spent some time probing this further with Fluellen and Aikidoka while up in RI.

As Kino was assisting me into tiriang mukhottanasana, there was this moment where I think I got a fleeting glimpse of the gravity of all of "this." What "this" is, I can't and don't want to define. It could be as simple as being another moment standing at the edge of opportunity and time. Just continuing to move forward, without fear, judgment or expectation.


Here's to the year MMIX and to MMX.
Wishing everyone, the best of health, peace and joy for the entire year to come!

Prelude to an Epitome

December has been quite puckish.


Between travel, the Kino workshop here in DC and then being thwalloped by bronchitis.

Not your normal run of the mill bronchitis. Bronchitis that laid me up in bed after dragging myself to and from work in denial that I was actually able to breathe. Then there was the snow day which I decided to practice - after being in bed for 4 days watching Lost, sleeping and drinking soup and tea. Initially I had planned to just do primary. Then I did one more pose, then one more pose and before I knew it, I had practiced my entire sequence. Felt great until about 2 hours later when I had absolutely no energy and passed out for the remainder of the day. Save for the Monday before Christmas, 5:30 am practice did not happen at all last week.

A little research provided a "bronchitis" sequence in LOY - after emailing Spirited C, she recommended the "pneumonia" sequence. Something about Iyengar's sequences really not being for mere mortals let alone someone who is sick. After seeing the immunity sequence that was put together for RIMYI when Pune was hit by H1N1 this past summer, I'm inclined to agree. For those curious, the bronchitis sequence includes such therapeutic poses as supta vajrasana, kapotasana, and dwipada viparita dandasana.

I was bummed that I couldn't immediately put everything from the Kino workshop into practice. From the strength work that can easily be incorporated into a sequence, to alignment recommendations for my 2d series poses. Sure, I have notes, they are nowhere near as copious as I woudl prefer, but they do provide mental note - and there is always hopefully body/sensory memory. I've learned this is how I truly remember things. I did practice the pneumonia sequence on my own for a few days last week, slowly incorporating some backbends and more of the bronchitis sequence - and have somehow come out of this feeling a lot stronger.

Needless to say, and much to my discernment, have kept myself to primary all week and have tempered practice a bit, no need to go crazy right?

Although, yesterday for my last mysore style practice of 2009 (520/273), I did sneak in pasana and krounchasana and D easily assisted me to my calves in tiriang mukhottanasana (which was quite a pleasant surprise given how long it's been).

Not a bad way to end the year in the least.

Mantra Monday: Just go with the flow.

Life has been a bit on the busy side - painting with broad strokes, juggling work, practice, a creative artistic outlet, and a burgeoning social life. To be honest, I'm not surprised that things continue to go well. I would venture that even with today's snowfall, things are flourishing.


Amazing what happens with a little radical self-acceptance and when you hit a point of flow.

Hi. My name is Portside.
I had an inversion aversion. I had a fear of breaking the rules. I would over analyze things. I might have even forgotten how to play.

Nevermore.

Of Asana, Knights, and Transparency

Well, I didn't make it to the shala this morning.
I woke around 6:30 this morning, 90 minutes behind schedule, quite surprised about being in my bedroom and not in California, but from a wonderful dream.

* * *

I was practicing by the the pool of Neutra's Desert House (1946), the sun was rising and illuminating the colors of the rock of the surrounding landscape. As I begun my practice, there was a light fall breeze gently fluttering the white linen thai fisherman pants I was wearing. I moved with ease though the transitions fully and gracefully binding Marichyasana-D and there was nothing but fluid movements from Bhuja Pindasana and into Supta Kirmasana. I didn't panic as I moved into UD and standing, only peace and a wonderful sense of calm. (These are all things I can only presently aspire to in waking life.)


As I rolled up my mat my college advisor and figure drawing professor walked out onto the patio with chai and fresh homemade dark-chocolate ginger biscotti. I leaned against a human scale knight chess piece as they began probing me about what I was doing with my life. They offered suggestions on my current artistic exploits/endeavors and extended nothing but encouragement for my idea of overhauling my portfolio and seeing where that takes me.

My dream came to a close as I was handed a letter with an Eames stamp on it, that was returned to me, address unknown.


* * *

At the Jivamukti workshop I went to back in July, at one point the teacher spoke about how we're all moving towards a collective consciousness and all connecting on higher planes. Let me say first and foremost, I'm not one to subscribe to the Timothy Leary "Turn on, tune in, drop out" idea in the least. However, I am starting to think, that simply, we're all more similar than we want to believe and it's cultivating an awareness of that which is truly important. Those around us act as mirrors of where we are within our present (or even where we might have seen ourselves in the past or in the future). That once we acknowledge our own True needs, "flaws", and "strengths," we gain a deeper understanding of those around us and effect a level of transparency and strength within ourselves.

Recently I've been noticing a lot of patterns amongst those in my shala, the cyber-shala, and really just in general. True that our species finds an amazing level of comfort in patterns, I'm starting to find comfort in discovery and stepping outside of my usual patterns (which is not such a bad pattern to have). Looking back on my dream I know where all of these pieces are coming from and it's really quite exciting and interesting to see how they fit together and create a beautifully collaged image. I commented on a shala-mate's blog with a mash-up of a bit of Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll with the underlying idea that the world is truly really nonsensical and the most random of elements can come together to provide clarity, to promote intrigue, and that everything that is meant to get done will and in the manner it is meant.

The end product isn't what's important at all.
It's that idea of the process, again, being the most important.

Maybe that's why I'm really not beating myself up about not making it to the shala this morning. After my dream I got a wonderful 30 minute meditation practice in, something that I haven't had the luxury of in a long time. And yes I've spent my day juggling file requests, writing motions and [proposed]orders, running between meetings, fully suited and wearing those georgeous BananaRepublic black pumps.

Quite the antithesis from my early morning waking...

Class #66: The Spectators vs. The Players

My gosh I was running ragged and while DC - somehow I managed to make it to my mat only a few times this month, culminating with five 2.5 hour sessions at a workshop with Ana Forrest last weekend. More yoga in one weekend than I had in the entire month. I'm still processing all that I learned, all that I discovered. This past week in DC I hardly made it to my mat and hardly had time to review my notes from the workshop. Gotta love the holiday season.

Then why, oh why, did I wake up at 6 am on a Saturday morning, to be on the road at 6:30 am, for a two hour Baptiste class that began at 8 am? After finishing a class at 5:30 in Wakefield last night?

While at home with the Mathematician and the Artist, I knew it was going to be important for me to return to my mat and begin the process of continuing to work on those things that I picked up last weekend. I packed for RI in a hurry - only packing one pair of brown high heeled boots in my suitcase, the clogs on my feet, and more yoga clothing than everyday "normal" clothing.

After finally locating the studio - above the garage of the teacher's modest home in Charlestown - I ascended the steps, entered the studio, and felt a bit like the new kid in the class. I set up my mat as I always do at Down Dog and did some light stretching, smiling at those who entered and who were already there, engaging those I could with some small talk. The teacher calmly walked into the room and class magically began. It started with some light breathing exercises, pranayama, and meditation, then the poses and vinyasa began.

My gosh it was hot. There were maybe 20 of us, but the heat generated was only rivaled by a packed house on a Saturday morning in Georgetown when Coeli is in town. We moved through the flow and then we came to wheel, Urdhva Dhanurasana. I have no clue how many wheels we went up and into, but they kept on coming. Slowly I could hear the complaints of the class rising and could feel some aggravation rising at towards their complaints, but I just kept on going. My wheels became deeper and soon I found my hips the highest they've been and my forearms to the mat. Last night was the first night I had stood from wheel and went back down from standing. More possibilities of wheel just blossomed - continuing some of the opening I experienced in the last session with Ana Forrest.

By just letting them rise to the surface.

I stopped thinking - I hit a point of flow.
I was dead tired but I kept on moving deeper and deeper into my wheels.

In life we have really have two options, one is to be the spectators and comment on our present situation - to complain and whine and make judgments on others. What good does that do? The second option is to take action and be the player - take responsibility and follow through with honesty, integrity, and letting our hearts be our guide.

Happy Halloween

On Saturday as we began our workshop, we were asked the question: What was your favorite Halloween costume?

The real question was: What was your favorite role that you played for one evening?

Halloween gives people free license to become something they cannot be in their everyday life. Super silly, super sexy, super scary – caricatures of that small voice that often doesn’t express itself. But if you think about it, don’t we play characters everyday?

We dress up in our best business suit and leather soled shoes to go to a meeting, put on a cute halter top and peep toe sandals to go out for a night on the town with our girlfriends, or put on our Lulu wear to go to yoga or relax at home. Really, they are all just costumes.

We can take this analogy one step further, stripping off that costume. Who do you see as your Self? Who is your main character? What is your role?

Pulling from my favorite mystery stories, I identify with Harriet Vane from Dorothy Sayers’ Lord Peter stories and Tuppence from Agatha Christie’s Tommy & Tuppence stories. Both are strong, independent and intelligent women, with a sharp wit, a great sense of style and flirtatious side.

I have a friend who is convinced that her Self was written by Jane Austen and she is now actually dating an Englishman. Walking onto the sales floor, the Artist sees himself as Archie Goodwin from Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe stories.

What character do you see yourself as?
What role do you play?

Workshop: When was the last time...

…that your entire being smiled?

Every weekday morning a jungle of well suited zombies emerge from the Metro doors. I admit, some days I also fall into formation - each individual moving indiscriminately through their day. Many of us chasing something, something that we think defines us. Chasing an impression of a dream, that remains illusive until we awaken to our true reality.

Last Thursday I had the opportunity to learn how to fly. In a few short minutes I relearned what it feels like to connect, feel the warmth of joy, to be truly present. My feet didn’t touch the ground for the rest of the evening – and I still don’t think they have found the ground. Yet, I feel more grounded than I have in the last year.

In life we’re presented many opportunities, it’s awakening to the spirit of the moment, to soar far past what our minds immediately perceive to see our true potential.

To smile.
To laugh.
To live.

* * *

This past weekend, Down Dog hosted a workshop in AcroYoga, lead by a woman with boundless energy, intrepid stillness, and a beautiful spirit. In my posts for this week I can only hope to share some of the volumes I learned in 5 short hours.