So, in the month of February I was trying to balance everything, move forward while carrying the past and becoming this vision of who I want to be and all I want to do.
For one, I had this desire to create and fabricate this fantastic jewelry design I've had in my mind since 2004. All I ended up doing was spinning my wheels and changing my design five times over the last four weeks. I still have yet to cut into my silver. Secondly, I have so desperately wanted to be able to stand on my own from Urdhava Dhanurasana (Wheel Pose) that I completely lost my Virabhadrasana II (Warrior II) during a recent retreat up to RI. I became frustrated to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about it on my return home after class. Like the wheels on the Mathematician's green Volvo station wagon, the wheels in my mind kept on spinning and spinning...hadn't I gone up to RI to get a break, reconnect with the basics?
Then I came down with my yearly bout of bronchitis. Staying couped up in my apartment for 5 full days, drinking tisanes, reading, watching Disney dvds and sleeping.
This was the pause I needed. No work. No yoga. No jewelery. I was able to reconnect with my center and take stock.
This was the first time, in a long time, that I had the opportunity to looks at myself with a level of honesty that I haven't in a long time. At some point, I realized that all I need to be concerned about are the basics.
Learning again, this is really all about the process.
It takes time.