Mantra Monday: Mix It Up.

I've noticed I talk a lot about being stuck in holding patterns, like a needle in the grooves of a vinyl record, a long lost vestige of possibly a simpler time. I still remember playing my New Kids on the Block record and thinking that the Mathematician and the Artist were sooo cooool when they bought our first family cd-player after our cat broke the arm on our record player. Today, we don't even have to commit to buying an entire album, we can just pick a song here and there, thanks to the miracles of iTunes.

The result, the songs which end up on the radio begin to find their way on to our iPods and nothing more. When was the last time you dug deep into the tracks of an album to discover a something new? Or looked back and into your cd collection and discovered something new? There's really so much out there that it's easy to let those on the outside dictate what we listen to, where we go, what we see, and who we are.

When I last was in RI I came across my stash of mix tapes - it was like rediscovering those favorite kicking around shoes that become buried under the bed. You know, those 90 or 110 minute musical manifestos where as teens we wanted to share some really cool tunes with our friends, express our angst, or profess our love (or at least that we liked someone). Listening to those (yes, I still have a cassette player Walkman and a cassette deck in my 96 Volvo) brings back a flood of memories and spurred me on to open my cd wallets that have been collecting dust.

Honestly, there's some stuff I won't admit that I own (I've already admitted that I listened to New Kids on the Block) but I do have some pretty cool stuff lurking in there (for example: Jabe's album Outback County Vampire*). Like with anything, finding the cool stuff, involves patience, a willingness to dig deep, and peel back the layers.

What's the coolest thing buried deep in your collection?


So it's 11:30 on a Monday night and I'm starting a MixCd.
The title? In Progress.

Catch ya'll on the flip side.





*Thanks Lady Apollo. :)


UPDATE: According to a member of Bauhaus, the reason we're limited to 80 minutes in today's CD savvy world is thanks to the Sony execs who based CD-R capacity on Beethoven's 5th. Interesting. But I have to ask why Beethoven? Why not Bach or Shostakovitch?

Class #108*

What makes a great teacher? This answer varies for us all.

For me, in high school and college it was the teachers who pushed my edge intellectually and artistically. At the time I thought it was them challenging me and the class. Today, I realized it wasn't that at all - it was that they guided me to a place where I could look with complete honesty at my work and who I am. In those classes I never aimed to please the teacher, I was there for me.

After college or further degrees we go out into the world and settle into our jobs and life and we can become complacent and numb - not because we're hit with unabashed monotony, but because we make it monotonous. We forget to honestly look at ourselves. I'm not talking about goals or what we do on a daily basis or what life has previously presented to us, but where we are within the present in mind, body, and soul.

At least this is very true for me.

After practice at Salt Pond today, I found myself lingering longer than usual. We had spent a lot of time in class working on float forward, handstand and crow and side crow - needless to say I got in a lot of tumbling and road kill imitation practice (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). As I headed out the door, I paused, turned and walked back up to the studio "looking to know what I have to do to float from crow to chaturanga dandasana and not tumble out of crow." The instructor totally called my bluff. What I had in fact returned for was help in defining some mental blocks. For someone on the outside, to ask me those questions in a manner I or others haven't asked in a long time - to offer a fresh perspective. I think I started this last Sunday, but definitely gained some more clarity after today's practice and even more after a couple great conversations with the Mathematician and the Artist.

The great teachers are our parents, our friends, our instructors, and our professors. These are the individuals that can lead to us to possibly the greatest teacher of all - Ourselves.



You just have to be willing to listen.



* Coincidentally, 108 is one of those numbers that is mathematically really cool and plays a major role in Eastern spirituality. Was it serendipity that my 108th class was today?

Mantra Monday: Back to Basics.

So, in the month of February I was trying to balance everything, move forward while carrying the past and becoming this vision of who I want to be and all I want to do.

For one, I had this desire to create and fabricate this fantastic jewelry design I've had in my mind since 2004. All I ended up doing was spinning my wheels and changing my design five times over the last four weeks. I still have yet to cut into my silver. Secondly, I have so desperately wanted to be able to stand on my own from Urdhava Dhanurasana (Wheel Pose) that I completely lost my Virabhadrasana II (Warrior II) during a recent retreat up to RI. I became frustrated to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about it on my return home after class. Like the wheels on the Mathematician's green Volvo station wagon, the wheels in my mind kept on spinning and spinning...hadn't I gone up to RI to get a break, reconnect with the basics?

Then I came down with my yearly bout of bronchitis. Staying couped up in my apartment for 5 full days, drinking tisanes, reading, watching Disney dvds and sleeping.

This was the pause I needed. No work. No yoga. No jewelery. I was able to reconnect with my center and take stock.

This was the first time, in a long time, that I had the opportunity to looks at myself with a level of honesty that I haven't in a long time. At some point, I realized that all I need to be concerned about are the basics.

Learning again, this is really all about the process.






That process?

It takes time.

Mantra Monday: Be Present.

There's always so much going on and we try to keep pace with life and the rest of the world, sometimes it just takes over and we feel a bit like we're drowning in life - we want to do it all and have it all be perfect. Sometimes we think we have to fight and struggle to make things "right," to do everything. And more often that not, we feel we have to move mountains and try so hard to achieve happiness. That's really not the case.

We just have to be present.

I was recently trying to figure out what shoes I was going to wear to an event this past Friday. I spent an entire evening pulling out every single pair of shoes I own to find the perfect pair. Let me tell you, it was a severe case of Portside and the 44 pairs of shoes - the modern sequel to Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Although less than enthused about my choice, I settled on a pair. The very next day flipping through my email I happened on an ad for a shoe store. I clicked on one of the the links and lo and behold, I found the perfect shoes, right on the splash page (and they were on sale for 50% off!). I hadn't bought a pair of shoes since September. I figured this has to be serendipity. I didn't force it, I wasn't scouring the internet for shoes to wear, they were just there.

It's amazing how simple things like this can be. Maybe it's that we get so wrapped up in all the details we forget about the big picture.

When I sit for my meditation, if I think about having to sit still and quite my mind - it just won't happen, plain and simple as that. All I can think about is how I can't quiet my mind and then *all* the other things I'm not getting done while "just sitting." This weekend, one of the things I heard from our our Master teacher was about how if we dwell on that which we find painful or aggravating or overwhelming we become stagnant, are unable to grow, and lose vision. The Buddhist/Sanskrit term for this is Dukkha which encompasses our concepts of sorrow, stress, frustration, anxiety, the list could go on. So, in effect, it could be said that dukkha begets dukkha.

Her remedy was to acknowledge discomfort and use that energy to spin out of it. Or as the Artist said in conversation with me today, "Just acknowledge it for what it is, and maximize what you can from it."

Then I put on those sassy, sexy dancing shoes with their red heels and somehow, things become very simple, fun, and very honest.

Mantra Monday: Finding Balance, Living Your Dreams

I am back to working on my craft, back to working on jewelry.
I've already attended two classes, both being close to sheer anarchy.
But should I expect anything less from an artist and craftsman?

In this two week period I've thrown myself back into the deep end, pulling out a design I began to work on in 2004. A bit of an involved piece (understatement), involving anticlastic raising (a technique I've never practiced before), but I figure I have six classes to complete it, so there should be no problem. This long weekend, I had a grand plan of spending time with the members of Bauhaus who were in town, and going to yoga, and getting my template drafted.

Sometime Saturday afternoon sitting in the Verizon Center between the overpirced pretzels, beer, and watching Georgetown decimate Notre Dame, I realized that I was just being crazy. There was no way to do all of those things. If I did spend my time drafting or at yoga, I would have missed out - missed the joy and warmth of these friendships and seeing those friends I haven't seen in a long time. Also, learning where everyone is and where they currently see themselves going. One of the great things about reconnecting with old friends is that we are given the oppertunity to share our dreams and allow our friends to help make these dreams a reality.

There's only so much time in the day and sometimes I feel as though I'm making up for lost time, maybe I try to put to much into my day and forget to savor the moments.

We all do this.

Sitting at Steak & Eggs with a couple members of Bauhaus, sopping up the last of the faux-maple syrup with their buttery pancakes this morning, I truly remembered the importance of balancing things that we feel are important, those things that truly are important, and those individuals who help propel our dreams.

Mantra Monday: 2008 is going to Rock!

With the close of the year and the start of a new one, at least in my world, everything tends to spin slightly out of control while moving at warp speed. Trying to get that last minute whatever, accomplished. Me? I was baking my white chocolate blueberry bread pudding for a pot luck dinner on New Years Eve while getting ready for a party immediately after. Not to mention shopping for an outfit to be worn to said party earlier that same day. I had some delusions of taking a nap in that afternoon. Ha!

I'm starting to believe that years run logarithmically. (Or is algorithmically?) Anyways, speeding up right until the end. Then...

*POW!*
Midnight strikes and it's a brand new year.

On the stroke of midnight, just as Cinderella turning into a pumpkin, we pass and instate resolutions to change. Work out more, eat better, go to bed at a decent hour, stop eating an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies during the course of a work day, etc.

Instead of passing resolutions on my life, I take some time to time to set my intentions for the year. I sit and think about those people and activities that are important to me - trying to make my day as much of a microcosm of what I want my year to be as possible. I reflect on my accomplishments from the previous year (compiled over the course of the previous week). I write down my 2, 5, and 10 year goals and then look at the goals I wrote down in previous years to see where I've been but more importantly to get a better idea of my current surroundings.

At the beginning of yoga practice, we set our intentions, something that is internally said to help move us in the direction of what we need and where we should be going. Take some time to set an intention for your year. Maybe write it down? When things become overbearing and not looking so hot, remember your intention. Repeat it to yourself to help gain your bearings again, to remember the path that you're on.

If the first week of 2008 is any indication of this coming year,
It is really going to rock n' roll!

A Belated Yet Very Happy New Year To All!

Happy Chirstmas!

May the blessings of this holiday season bring you warmth and light, continuing long into the New Year.

Shanti.

Narragansett, RI
Sunrise, Christmas 2007