18 days into 20-10 and already things have somehow spun into warp-speed.
I've already put some travel for a couple workshops on my calendar and my weekends seem to be filling fast with social engagements. In conversation, Mrs. A and I have toyed with the idea that January 20-10 seems to be more of an annex of 2009 than it's own separate entity. Maybe that it's more transitional than anything else.
Right now a lot of things feel as though they are in limbo - the only two things that seem to provide stability are work and yoga. But I'm still trying to work out how to best balance the Iyengar classes with Ashtanga - so really the only thing that isn't in flux is work. (?!)
I'm taking a level 3 Iyengar class at UnityWoods one night a week. First, I'm normally in bed by the time it's over and in the first class of the session, I was quite surprised that I didn't doze off in handstand. Second, this teacher loves dropbacks and inversions and as a result of the sequence, I was absolutely wired for sound until 2am. Which now that I think about it, could be a great time to work on art related stuff.
Part of it is that that I'm trying to figure this yoga thing out - how it fits, how the rest of the world fits, and where this all "goes." As many of us know, this practice can easily become all consuming - as a whole or in parts. Ask the Mathematician and the Artist, I have always readily become obsessed with the esoteric and dogged in a search for something if I feel it significant. I have piles of books I want to read and things I would love to do extra work on "in my free time" (getting both my butt and feet off the ground between navasana simultaneously would be nice for starters).
But to what end and sacrifice?
Saturday night with SeattleSunshine - sharing some wine, laughs, tears, and dreams - nothing was resolved but I have some better ideas. She asked about my 5 year goals/dreams. I drew a blank and she wouldn't let me change the subject. I feel as though I'm still on the verge of something and have to make a decision. Maybe not a final decision, but just a decision to refine direction - to offer further perspective.
I can say with certainty that time and space always seem to provide this, like with all things I think that, ultimately, it's just having patience (with a dash of persistence).
Monday, January 18, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Epitome
2009 has been an interesting year to say the least.
There's a part of me that wants to describe it as zero-sum.
Then, I think:
What could cosmically happen if I did that on a Moon Day, which is also a Harvest/Blue Moon, on New Years on the eve 2010, with a lunar eclipse? Possibly none, but one never knows...there are some Fates I don't like to tempt.
Funny how things happen as they do.
Although, really, I'm not surprised at this point.
Through the better part of the year I've felt as though I've been turning in revolution with ever increasing velocity. Rediscovering forgotten fragments, to making peace with the past, to new experiences, to simply living for the moment with surrender. Then, blending them together in various combination, filling the year with a new sense of purpose, discovery, and energy.
Should I question what this stems from?
It would be easy to point to the asana practice; however, I think it comes more from the discipline with which I approached it and the judicious choices made ostensibly "for the practice." (Obtainable in some form for anyone who studies/pursues anything with honest inquisitiveness and fidelity.) This was mentioned in very brief passing during the workshop and I spent some time probing this further with Fluellen and Aikidoka while up in RI.
As Kino was assisting me into tiriang mukhottanasana, there was this moment where I think I got a fleeting glimpse of the gravity of all of "this." What "this" is, I can't and don't want to define. It could be as simple as being another moment standing at the edge of opportunity and time. Just continuing to move forward, without fear, judgment or expectation.
Here's to the year MMIX and to MMX.
Wishing everyone, the best of health, peace and joy for the entire year to come!
There's a part of me that wants to describe it as zero-sum.
Then, I think:
What could cosmically happen if I did that on a Moon Day, which is also a Harvest/Blue Moon, on New Years on the eve 2010, with a lunar eclipse? Possibly none, but one never knows...there are some Fates I don't like to tempt.
Funny how things happen as they do.
Although, really, I'm not surprised at this point.
Through the better part of the year I've felt as though I've been turning in revolution with ever increasing velocity. Rediscovering forgotten fragments, to making peace with the past, to new experiences, to simply living for the moment with surrender. Then, blending them together in various combination, filling the year with a new sense of purpose, discovery, and energy.
Should I question what this stems from?
It would be easy to point to the asana practice; however, I think it comes more from the discipline with which I approached it and the judicious choices made ostensibly "for the practice." (Obtainable in some form for anyone who studies/pursues anything with honest inquisitiveness and fidelity.) This was mentioned in very brief passing during the workshop and I spent some time probing this further with Fluellen and Aikidoka while up in RI.
As Kino was assisting me into tiriang mukhottanasana, there was this moment where I think I got a fleeting glimpse of the gravity of all of "this." What "this" is, I can't and don't want to define. It could be as simple as being another moment standing at the edge of opportunity and time. Just continuing to move forward, without fear, judgment or expectation.
Here's to the year MMIX and to MMX.
Wishing everyone, the best of health, peace and joy for the entire year to come!
Prelude to an Epitome
December has been quite puckish.
Between travel, the Kino workshop here in DC and then being thwalloped by bronchitis.
Not your normal run of the mill bronchitis. Bronchitis that laid me up in bed after dragging myself to and from work in denial that I was actually able to breathe. Then there was the snow day which I decided to practice - after being in bed for 4 days watching Lost, sleeping and drinking soup and tea. Initially I had planned to just do primary. Then I did one more pose, then one more pose and before I knew it, I had practiced my entire sequence. Felt great until about 2 hours later when I had absolutely no energy and passed out for the remainder of the day. Save for the Monday before Christmas, 5:30 am practice did not happen at all last week.
A little research provided a "bronchitis" sequence in LOY - after emailing Spirited C, she recommended the "pneumonia" sequence. Something about Iyengar's sequences really not being for mere mortals let alone someone who is sick. After seeing the immunity sequence that was put together for RIMYI when Pune was hit by H1N1 this past summer, I'm inclined to agree. For those curious, the bronchitis sequence includes such therapeutic poses as supta vajrasana, kapotasana, and dwipada viparita dandasana.
I was bummed that I couldn't immediately put everything from the Kino workshop into practice. From the strength work that can easily be incorporated into a sequence, to alignment recommendations for my 2d series poses. Sure, I have notes, they are nowhere near as copious as I woudl prefer, but they do provide mental note - and there is always hopefully body/sensory memory. I've learned this is how I truly remember things. I did practice the pneumonia sequence on my own for a few days last week, slowly incorporating some backbends and more of the bronchitis sequence - and have somehow come out of this feeling a lot stronger.
Needless to say, and much to my discernment, have kept myself to primary all week and have tempered practice a bit, no need to go crazy right?
Although, yesterday for my last mysore style practice of 2009 (520/273), I did sneak in pasana and krounchasana and D easily assisted me to my calves in tiriang mukhottanasana (which was quite a pleasant surprise given how long it's been).
Not a bad way to end the year in the least.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Happy Holidays!
Narragansett, RI
Sunrise, Christmas 2009
Wishing everyone a joyous holiday season - filled with light and love.
Shanti.
...and of course, champagne, bismark donuts, and laughter.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
495/261: Smooth Sunday.
One of those Sundays where I was very tempted to linger in bed, take another day of bed rest from the Friday and Saturday's asthma difficulties - treated with multiple tisanes, water, soup, rest and more episodes of Lost than should probably be watched in one sitting.
SilentSpeaker easily convinced me over GChat to practice - basically reminding me that I could stop at any point I wanted to - my original plan was to go simply do Primary. Breath came so rhythmically almost like a metronome, each pose floated into another. I ended up easily smoothly practicing through laghu vajrasana and as I move to backbends D comes over and adds kapotasna a and kapotasna b. Very surprised and excited by this - still trying to work on the illusive "stall" thing when transitioning between ustrasana, laghu and kapotasana.
Thinking maybe break dancing lessons next..
or maybe give capioera another shot...
After three long holds in urdhva dhanurasana, three quick standing to dropbacks and immediately into assisted, and down half way on the last drop, D grabs my wrists and firmly plants my hands right to the lower calves. Of course, my hands slipped down a bit, and heels came up a teeny tiny bit - but oh, that hold was glorious.
There's been a bit of a return to backbending work in the cybershala - and after this morning's fairly successful exploration of tiriang mukhottanasana (LOY 418-9) decided to see where things are in the backbending department.
Started with a little chair work from Iyengar class, really working to try to get the pelvis tucked, extension through the front body, spine deep into the backbody, and lots of rotation through the shoulders.
And then of course, a little play with urdhva dhanurasana and dropbacks.
SilentSpeaker easily convinced me over GChat to practice - basically reminding me that I could stop at any point I wanted to - my original plan was to go simply do Primary. Breath came so rhythmically almost like a metronome, each pose floated into another. I ended up easily smoothly practicing through laghu vajrasana and as I move to backbends D comes over and adds kapotasna a and kapotasna b. Very surprised and excited by this - still trying to work on the illusive "stall" thing when transitioning between ustrasana, laghu and kapotasana.
Thinking maybe break dancing lessons next..
or maybe give capioera another shot...
After three long holds in urdhva dhanurasana, three quick standing to dropbacks and immediately into assisted, and down half way on the last drop, D grabs my wrists and firmly plants my hands right to the lower calves. Of course, my hands slipped down a bit, and heels came up a teeny tiny bit - but oh, that hold was glorious.
There's been a bit of a return to backbending work in the cybershala - and after this morning's fairly successful exploration of tiriang mukhottanasana (LOY 418-9) decided to see where things are in the backbending department.
Started with a little chair work from Iyengar class, really working to try to get the pelvis tucked, extension through the front body, spine deep into the backbody, and lots of rotation through the shoulders.
And then of course, a little play with urdhva dhanurasana and dropbacks.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
492/259: Rules Pondered.
We hated Bauhaus. It was a bad time in architecture... All they had were rules. Even for knives and forks they created rules. Picasso would never have accepted rules. The house is like a machine? No! The mechanical is ugly. The rule is the worst thing. You just want to break it.
Oscar Niemeyer.
* * *
Why do we push the boundaries? Over time, the chance of radical breakthroughs seems to increase as rules and their nuances are simply and slowly explored. The "rules" in place are pushed to the limits and ultimately broken - but concurrent to the exploration/deconstruction a new structure comes into formation. So, really, the original structure doesn't completely disappear - pieces remain.
Each successive pose feeds another - how they all link together - how opening/strength in one assists multiple other poses down the sequence. But can and usually does deepen expression in earlier poses.
There's truly a lot of depth to Primary.
To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan Intermediate yet.
There I said it.
Back on 10.28 D added parsva dhanurasana, ustrasana, and laghu vajrasna to my practice. I was ok having through dhanruasana. Prior to that, it didn't really "feel" like I "had" a second series - those first poses seemed more like an amuse-bouche.
Don't get me wrong I think parsva dhanurasana is quite enjoyable, while laghu vajrasna is pleasantly kicking my butt - or more specifically the rectus femoris, satoris, and would venture the tensor fasciae latae (thank you AP Bio anatomy textbook). From Primary, lolasana and bhuja pindasana are still slightly enigmatic to me. But, Intermediate seems to be doing amazing things for my backbending - Simply? Wow.
As I type this, I think - maybe it is the rules and their nuance that are close to the core of the beauty of this system.
As a result, there's hope for Intermediate.
After all, Niemeyer works in concrete with grids and structure - just with a different perspective on the rules.
Oscar Niemeyer.
* * *
Why do we push the boundaries? Over time, the chance of radical breakthroughs seems to increase as rules and their nuances are simply and slowly explored. The "rules" in place are pushed to the limits and ultimately broken - but concurrent to the exploration/deconstruction a new structure comes into formation. So, really, the original structure doesn't completely disappear - pieces remain.
Each successive pose feeds another - how they all link together - how opening/strength in one assists multiple other poses down the sequence. But can and usually does deepen expression in earlier poses.
There's truly a lot of depth to Primary.
To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan Intermediate yet.
There I said it.
Back on 10.28 D added parsva dhanurasana, ustrasana, and laghu vajrasna to my practice. I was ok having through dhanruasana. Prior to that, it didn't really "feel" like I "had" a second series - those first poses seemed more like an amuse-bouche.
Don't get me wrong I think parsva dhanurasana is quite enjoyable, while laghu vajrasna is pleasantly kicking my butt - or more specifically the rectus femoris, satoris, and would venture the tensor fasciae latae (thank you AP Bio anatomy textbook). From Primary, lolasana and bhuja pindasana are still slightly enigmatic to me. But, Intermediate seems to be doing amazing things for my backbending - Simply? Wow.
As I type this, I think - maybe it is the rules and their nuance that are close to the core of the beauty of this system.
As a result, there's hope for Intermediate.
After all, Niemeyer works in concrete with grids and structure - just with a different perspective on the rules.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Where'd October (!?) go?
I could have sworn that it was just September.
So much to do and in what seems to be so little time.
I this past weekend I had a moment to pause. In that moment I realized that this is the first time in a few years that I really don't have more than a nebulous idea of the 5/10/15 year plans. It's a little unnerving - choice does not necessarily create freedom, nor does freedom create choice. Maybe it boils down to the simple idea that we do what we have to do to get where we're ultimately going.
I look at the Mathematician and the Artist both who work really hard - independently and together - leading what T.R. would call a strenuous life, others would call it dharma and sometimes I wonder if they are happy or if they are content. I decide that it's contentment with highlights of happiness.
Is it contentment that is the ultimate "goal?"
One thing that I'm certain of, I'm not content to ever settle. Settling seems almost like a concession. Not saying going off the deep end always striving to the point of obsession for something more or better, but to steadily keep moving forward, deeper into knowledge and life and all that going along with it - feeding off the world at large, both the pains and joys.
Sure it's work, but it's work that is all worthwhile.
* * *
My practice has been changing a lot recently, to fit the recent rigors of the work that pays my bills. I've spent multiple evenings in Iyengar classes, mornings or evenings practicing on my own and slowly getting back on the Ashtanga wagon at AYC. It comes and goes in fits and spurts. My writing, photography, sketching, baking and everything else has been back burnered and days have pretty much been simplified to work, sleep, yoga, and food. Not necessarily in that order, but close.
But isn't life always in dynamic equilibrium?
The pendulum will soon swing back to Ashtanga.
So much to do and in what seems to be so little time.
I this past weekend I had a moment to pause. In that moment I realized that this is the first time in a few years that I really don't have more than a nebulous idea of the 5/10/15 year plans. It's a little unnerving - choice does not necessarily create freedom, nor does freedom create choice. Maybe it boils down to the simple idea that we do what we have to do to get where we're ultimately going.
I look at the Mathematician and the Artist both who work really hard - independently and together - leading what T.R. would call a strenuous life, others would call it dharma and sometimes I wonder if they are happy or if they are content. I decide that it's contentment with highlights of happiness.
Is it contentment that is the ultimate "goal?"
One thing that I'm certain of, I'm not content to ever settle. Settling seems almost like a concession. Not saying going off the deep end always striving to the point of obsession for something more or better, but to steadily keep moving forward, deeper into knowledge and life and all that going along with it - feeding off the world at large, both the pains and joys.
Sure it's work, but it's work that is all worthwhile.
* * *
My practice has been changing a lot recently, to fit the recent rigors of the work that pays my bills. I've spent multiple evenings in Iyengar classes, mornings or evenings practicing on my own and slowly getting back on the Ashtanga wagon at AYC. It comes and goes in fits and spurts. My writing, photography, sketching, baking and everything else has been back burnered and days have pretty much been simplified to work, sleep, yoga, and food. Not necessarily in that order, but close.
But isn't life always in dynamic equilibrium?
The pendulum will soon swing back to Ashtanga.
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